Ziyal's First Pokemon
by Kivessa
Summary: Otherwise known as "Attack of the killer Thingies!!!" Ash, Misty and Brock find themselves and a bunch of Pokemon transported to Deep Space Nine on the "wishes" of Tora Ziyal...


Please don't flame... I know it's a weird story but I was feeling weird today and this is what happened...  
  
**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek/Pokemon/Cheese-Its or any of the characters I use in this story...**  
  
  
ZIYAL'S FIRST POKEMON  
By: Kivessa  
  
  
[Opening Scene- Ziyal is sitting in her quarters TOTALLY bored]  
  
ZIYAL: [sigh] "I am sooo bored... and like yah... [sighs again] I wish I had something to do!"  
  
There's a loud **POOF** and out of nowhere a the beautiful Vorta appears in "I Dream of Jeanie" garb  
  
THE VORTA: "Argh this STUPID costum! Oh um... Greetings Ziyal my name is Kivessa"  
  
ZIYAL: [gasp] "how do you know my name?"  
  
KIVESSA: "cause I'm the author of this parody silly"  
  
ZIYAL: "Oh yah... I knew that"  
  
KIVESSA: "Of course you did dear... Anyway... I have come to grant to you 3 wishes genie style and..."  
  
ZIYAL: [interrupts] "why are ya dressed like that?"  
  
KIVESSA: "It's supposed to make the wish-granting part more convincing OK? Now as I was saying I'm gonna grant you 3 wishes... and if I've heard correctly your first wish is 'something to do?'"  
  
ZIYAL: "Yups! Something fun ok?"  
  
The talented all-knowing author ponders 'what would keep Ziyal occupied and still provide entertainment to the readers'  
  
There's another **POOF** and a mini-television set appears with non-stop ORIGINAL Pokemon ((none of that Joto Journey or Orange Islands...stuff))  
  
ZIYAL: "ooooo goodie cartoons! [claps hands and sits in front of TV]"  
  
KIVESSA: "Ok I'll be going now... think about your next two wishes alright?"  
  
...But Ziyal doesn't hear her... she's too busy zoning out, watching Ash get electrocuted by   
Pikachu and claps her hands in glee again  
  
KIVESSA sighs and disappears in another **POOF**  
  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
  
... A few re-runs and lost brain cells later... Ziyal is bored once again...  
  
Ziyal: "This is totally junkies! I'm BORED! I wish I had something more funner to do"  
  
**POOF**  
  
Kivessa: "There's no such word as 'funner'"  
  
Ziyal: "YAY! You're back"  
  
Kivessa: [nods] "Yes... and your next wish is 'something more interesting to do?'"  
  
Ziyal: "Yah, but can it have something to do with Ash and Pikachu cause they're like cool" [grins]  
  
Kivessa: [sighs] "I suppose so..."  
  
**POOF**  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
[nothing happens]  
  
ZIYAL: "Umm nothing happened..."  
  
At that moment Ash, Misty, Pikachu, and Brock come stumbling out of Ziyal's bedroom...  
  
ASH: "Whoa... wild ride"  
  
PIKACHU: "Pika pi!" (totally)  
  
MISTY: "Oh my gosh... where are we?"  
  
BROCK: "I dunno but maybe we should... WHOA"  
  
The group come to a halt in front of Ziyal and the mistress of this parody... still in Genie garb  
  
BROCK: "Shwing! h-hi I'm Brock! How can I help you lovely ladies" [starts goggling and throwing himself over Ziyal and the talented writer]  
  
KIVESSA: "Ew! I'm outtie... think about that last wish!"  
  
ZIYAL: "Okee day! Bye bye mistress-lady-author-ma'am-sir"  
  
**POOF**  
  
ZIYAL: [turns back to the group] "Hieee my name is Ziyal and this is my daddy's space station"  
  
PIKACHU: "Pika!" (cool)  
  
BROCK: [all love struck over Ziyal] "Wow that's so amazing... maybe you could show us   
around and we could get together later" [starts kissing her hand]  
  
MISTY: [whispers to Ash] "What are we doing here? Have we been abducted or something?"  
  
ASH: "I have no idea but she called the other lady 'author' maybe it's another one of those   
stupid episodes we do that make no sense"  
  
MISTY: "None of them ever make sense"  
  
ASH: "Oh yah"  
  
  
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the station... Jesse, James, and Meowth appear in a deserted   
Jefferies' Tube  
  
JESSE: "OUCH! James get OFF my foot"  
  
JAMES: "Oh um sorry"  
  
MEOWTH: "AHH someone's on my tail"  
  
[After a few seconds of squabbling and a lot of squishing the trio contemplate how they got   
there in the first place...]  
  
JAMES: "Last thing I remember was eating some Cheese-its..."  
  
JESSE: "Quit it with the Cheese-its all right?" [punches James in the arm]  
  
JAMES: "Ouchies!"  
  
MEOWTH: "Stop it you two love birds and lets find a place outta here!"  
  
JESSE and JAMES: "We're NOT dating..."  
  
JAMES: "And we're not related..."  
  
JESSE: "Why does everyone think we're either dating or siblings?"  
  
The trio start moving through the labyrinth of tubings...  
  
  
  
Meanwhile through out the station numerous Pokemon start popping up throughout the station...  
  
QUARK: [attempting to remove a seriously peeved Jigglypuff from his bar] "This is worse than when Sisko brought back that batch of Tribbles from the past"   
  
JIGGLYPUFF: [Thwacks Quark on the head with it's microphone] "JIGGLY JIGGLY PUUUUUFF" (Let go of me you **** stupid *****)  
  
QUARK: "OWW!"  
  
The Jigglypuff leaves the bar huffing and puffing while drawing on the walls with its pen when Odo walks into the scene with Kira  
  
ODO: [talking to Kira] "...So when the maintenance crews went to check out what was wrong with the internal sensors they found a bunch of floating thingies that kept saying 'Voltrob' over and over again and... What the heck is that?"  
  
KIRA: "Looks like an over grown pink cheese ball"  
  
The peeved Jigglypuff gets offended and pounces on Kira and draws a mustache on her face  
  
KIRA: "AHHH"  
  
The two tumble for a bit until Odo finally wrenches them apart when a Ghastly comes by scaring the wits out of everyone and the Jigglypuff gets away...  
  
KIRA: "What the heck is goin on?"  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile... last stop on Ziyal's tour of the station is OPS... where Dukat and Weyoun are arguing over what to do with the internal sensors  
  
ZIYAL: "And here's OPS... and there's my daddy right over there" [pointing to Dukat]  
  
MISTY: "What's that thingy he's talking to?"   
  
ASH: "I dunno" [takes out his Pokedex and points it at Weyoun]  
  
POKEDEX: "Unknown Pokemon"  
  
BROCK: [gasp] "It's a DORK!"  
  
PIKACHU: "pika?" (eh?)  
  
BROCK: "It's type of legendary water Pokemon, see its pale features and banana shaped ears... I'd recognize one anywhere!"  
  
WEYOUN: [overhearing] "Wha?"  
  
BROCK: "Really stupid too"  
  
ASH: "If that's an extinct Pokemon then I'm gonna get it!" [whips out an empty Pokeball]  
  
WEYOUN: "Um what are you childr..."  
  
ASH: "Pikachu thunder bolt!"  
  
PIKACHU: "Piiiiikaaaaachuuuuuuu" (Piiiiikaaaaachuuuuuuu)  
  
**ZAP**  
  
WEYOUN: [ducks] "AHHHHHHHH" [runs as fast as he can out of OPS]  
  
ZIYAL: [giggles and points] oooo look at the cute wittle dork run   
  
BROCK: [chases Weyoun out of OPS] "ONIX TACKLE ATTACK!"  
  
WEYOUN: "Eep!" [faints from shock at the huge boulder like snake pokemon]  
  
BROCK: "I got him!" [Recalls Weyoun into one of his empty Pokeballs]  
  
ZIYAL: [claps hands] "Wow that was so neato!"  
  
BROCK: [entering a love struck state] "Heh you think so? Here you want her?"  
  
MISTY: "That Dork's a she?"  
  
BROCK: "Yup! I'm an expert at recognizing those things" [hands Weyoun in his Pokeball over to Ziyal who jumps with glee]  
  
ZIYAL: "Oh daddy can I keep her? It's such a cute Pokemon!!"  
  
DUKAT: (who has been watching the entire scene kinda dumbstruck like) "Err ok... who would've thought Weyoun was really a female... thingy... [chuckles to self] that explains a lot of things..."  
  
ZIYAL: "YAY!"  
  
DUKAT: "You're going to have to take care of him... err her... regular feedings and lots of exercise... we can't have a malnourished Dominion mouthpiece now can we?"  
  
  
  
Meanwhile in the deserted habitat ring... Jesse, James, and Meowth have at last emerged from the Jefferies Tubes...  
  
MEOWTH: "Whew I thought I'd never get out of there!"  
  
JESSE: "Yah but where are we?"  
  
JAMES: "I'm hungry"  
  
Just then Damar comes out of his quarters and nearly walks into them...  
  
DAMAR: "WHAT?! Who are you?"  
  
MEOWTH: "OUCH get off my tail you oaf!"  
  
DAMAR: "AHH A TALKING... THINGY!" [faints from shock]  
  
JAMES: "What's that?" [points to crumpled Damar on the floor]  
  
JESSE: "I have no idea but it looks to me like one of those rare Jerk Pokemon!"  
  
MEOWTH: "We should catch it for the boss!"  
  
JAMES: "Don't be stupid... pokemon don't talk"  
  
MEOWTH punches James  
  
JAMES: "Ouchies! Heh oh yah..."  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
  
On the Promenade... Odo, Kira, and a few security officers are trying to round up the loose Pokemon but to no avail...   
  
Just then Ash, Brock, Pikachu, Misty and Ziyal (still jumping for joy at the prospect of owning a Pokemon of her own) enter the scene  
  
KIRA (still with moustache on): "Stupid... THINGIES" [everyone present snickers] "What is everyone looking at?!?"  
  
ODO: "Nothing dear"  
  
ZIYAL: "NERYS NERYS!! Lookee lookee what I've got!!" [holds out her pokeball with Weyoun inside]  
  
ZIYAL [notices all the Pokemon scattered throughout the Promenade]: "OOO more pokemon!"  
  
MISTY: "Looks like we're not the only ones this twisted author decided to transport here..."  
  
KIVESSA (voiceover): 'Watch it I'm not exactly a Misty fan you know'  
  
ASH: "Hey uh" [turns to Kira] "do ya guys need help catching these loose Pokemon"  
  
KIRA: "No DUH"  
  
ODO: "WOW look at this Nerys!" [spots a Ditto shapeshifting from a houseplant back into it's original pink-blobby-like state] "MOMMY!!!!!"  
  
...Just then...  
  
JESSE: "Prepare for trouble.."  
  
JAMES: "Make that double"  
  
Jesse and James emerge from the shadows of the Bajoran temple  
  
EVERYONE PRESENT groans  
  
Team Rocket finishes saying their oath with dramatic gestures and a few fireworks to find everyone present sleeping  
  
JAMES: "Aww man they always do that!"  
  
JESSE: "HEY so like everyone WAKE UP please so you can valiantly try to STOP US from capturing all these Pokemon for the boss"  
  
MEOWTH: "Um why are you trying to get them to wake up?"  
  
JESSE: "Cause then there wouldn't BE a plot if there's no conflict! DUH"  
  
ASH: [awakes] "Yah! So like... We were here first"  
  
JAMES: "No way dude we were waiting in this temple place for like half a day waiting for you guys!"  
  
MEOWTH: "Yah so lets do one of those tournaments we always do whenever there's a conflict"  
  
KIRA: "OOO fight fight!" [she and Odo go off to the side to watch with some popcorn]  
  
At that moment the female shapeshifter appears on screen  
  
FEMALE SHAPESHIFTER: "Uh have any of you seen Weyoun?"  
  
EVERYONE PRESENT: "Nope"  
  
FEMALE SHAPESHIFTER: "Okay" [walks away]  
  
ASH: "Yah so are we gonna have a tournament or what?" [whips out his pokeballs]  
  
MISTY: "But theres no place to fight, no rules, no anything!"  
  
BROCK: "You ALWAYS have to burst everyone's bubble!"  
  
ZIYAL: "Awww no tournament? I wish we could do one."  
  
**POOF**  
  
Tournament ring appears in the middle of the promenade  
  
ZIYAL: "ACK and I was SAVING that last wish!"  
  
KIVESSA appears: "I'm judging this tournament and everyone must follow these guidelines: Only one trainer at a time using only one Pokemon at a time... we will play best 2 out of 3... winner gets all the Pokemon on the station. Also... I have the power to disqualify anyone I don't like... so bye-bye Misty!"  
  
MISTY: "D@mmit!"  
  
KIVESSA: " NO SWEARING"  
  
**POOF**  
  
Misty explodes in a thousand pieces...  
  
EVERYONE PRESENT: "YAY!"  
  
KIVESSA [chuckles] "Always wanted to do that... Now first up... Jesse and Ash!"  
  
ASH: "Come on Pikachu I'm usin you"  
  
PIKACHU: "pika pika" (okiely dokiely)  
  
JESSE: "HAH! You're in for a treat! I'm gonna use my new Jerk!"  
  
They step into the ring  
  
ASH: "Pikachu go!"  
  
JESSE: "Jerk GO!"  
  
DAMAR tumbles out of his Pokeball strangely without a shirt on: "What the heck? Where's my shirt?"  
  
KIVESSA and ZIYAL giggle  
  
KIVESSA: "So cute"  
  
JAMES: "Who?"  
  
KIVESSA: "...and wittle Jamesy too" [pats his head]  
  
DAMAR: [furious] "What am I doing here?"  
  
ASH: "Pikachu thunderbolt"  
  
PIKACHU: "Piiiiikaaaaachuuuuuuu" (Piiiiikaaaaachuuuuuuu)  
  
**ZAP**  
  
The thunderbolt hits Damar point blank and knocks him out  
  
JESSE: "Shucks"  
  
DAMAR twitches a bit from the electricity  
  
KIRA (still got a moustache): "Shouldn't he be dead?"  
  
KIVESSA: "Well I was gonna make it possible for him to die but I wouldn't want any Damar fans on my back... by the way Kira are you aware that you have a drawn moustache on your face?"  
  
KIRA [Looks into a shop window]: "AHHH" [runs off with Odo bringing up the rear]  
  
JAMES: "I'm hungry..."  
  
KIVESSA: [smiles] "Here have a lollipop dear" [lollipop appears in James' hand]  
  
JAMES: "Yay!"  
  
Just then the female shapeshifter appears again this time draggin Dukat along  
  
ZIYAL: "Hi daddy!"   
  
FEMALE SHAPESHIFTER: "Are you guys sure you haven't seen Weyoun?"  
  
EVERYONE PRESENT: "Yup"  
  
FEMALE SHAPESHIFTER: [sighs] "Ok then... um Dukat you stay here in case Weyoun shows up"  
  
DUKAT: "Okiely dokiely" [goes off to sidelines to watch]  
  
KIVESSA: "OK... the match goes to Ash...next two up are Brock and Meowth"  
  
MEOWTH: "Hey no fair I'm not a trainer! I have no Pokemon"  
  
KIVESSA: "Oh yah... [ponders]... well you're a pokemon... go fight for yourself"  
  
ZIYAL: "You're so smart author-lady"  
  
KIVESSA: "I know..."  
  
BROCK who has been strangely silent for a while... starts making choking noises  
  
JESSE: "Ack what's wrong with him?"  
  
ASH: "Argh the dumb-butt has been eating his Pokemon food AGAIN!"  
  
BROCK turns purple and faints  
  
KIVESSA: "Um... ok... so due to this new strange twist of events... the match goes to Meowth of Team Rocket"  
  
MEOWTH: "Oh yes I RULE!!" [struts around in sort of a victory dance]  
  
PIKACHU: "pika pika pikachuu" (oh shut up you didn't even fight)  
  
KIVESSA: "Well looks like a tie so far...um I suppose Ash'll have to go again"  
  
ASH busy trying to revive Brock: "Naw that's ok... Ziyal why don't you go... this'll be a good learning experience for your Dork... James is a push over"  
  
JAMES: "HEY!"  
  
ZIYAL: "Okay!"  
  
Ziyal and James step into the ring amid cheers from Dukat ("Yay Zee! That's my girl")  
  
JAMES: "Koffing GO!"  
  
ZIYAL: "Dork GO!"  
  
KOFFING: "Koffffing" (Aw... I was sleepin)  
  
WEYOUN stumbles out of the pokeball also without a shirt on: "ACK where am I?"  
  
KIVESSA giggles again  
  
JAMES: "Koffing tackle attack!"  
  
WEYOUN: "EEP!"  
  
Weyoun dodges as the Koffing tries to pin him to the ground  
  
At that moment, the female shapeshifter enters the scene again...  
  
WEYOUN: "Founder help me!"  
  
FEMALE SHAPESHIFTER: "Ahh there you are Weyoun... um what are you doing?"  
  
WEYOUN: "I have no idea! Those kids [points to Ash and Brock] were calling me a DORK, and then they chased me, and then they put me in that ball thingy, and then that big balloon thing just tried to hit me... and STOP LAUGHING AT ME DUKAT" [sniffles]  
  
  
DUKAT nearly falls over laughing   
  
KIVESSA: "oh you poor thing... I award the match to Ziyal and her Pokemon Weyoun"  
  
JAMES: "HEY!"  
  
KIVESSA: "Sorry Jamesy... but I'm a bigger follower of Weyoun than of you... Here you are dear" [hands Weyoun a lollipop]  
  
WEYOUN sniffles and takes the lollipop  
  
KIVESSA: "The winners of this tournament are the good guys... so they get all the Pokemon on the station"  
  
JESSE: "Hey I resent that!"  
  
BROCK (who mysteriously regained conciousness while no one was looking): "HAHA WE WON!" [does a victory dance]  
  
TEAM ROCKET all pout  
  
...and everyone went off and became Pokemon Masters and lived happily ever after  
  
  
  
  
THE END  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
**no offense was intended to Star Trek/Pokemon fans**  



End file.
